On My Death Bed

An important person in my life once asked me to imagine myself on my death bed and to imagine what I would like to be able to reflect on as what I accomplished during my lifetime.  At the time, I was in the middle of one of the most traumatic times in my life and coming to that calm center to imagine something so incredibly profound was a struggle.  Alas, I was able to come up with a few thoughts.  In the end, I would like to say I lived, really lived...like those people that walk in smiling and everyone wonders what they could possibly be so happy about...like those people who hug everyone including the strangers and you can see that a bright light surrounds them wherever they go sharing their loving spirit...like the wonderful mother who as the children stand beside her know her sacrifices and that she never hesitated to give them and that they are dearly loved...like the adventurer that throws on a backpack and ventures out with family to see the beauty of all that surrounds us each day...like the writer who pours out emotions that everyone who reads the words can feel...like the counselor who speaks with love and understanding....like the sister, daughter, mother, friend who calls just to say I love you...like the child who plays with the passion that someone new to this world possesses...like the seed that hopes and eventually blooms into a beautiful flower...like the person that stood up for something right even though she stood alone...and so much more...

Resolution

I have always been a person in need of resolution.  Of course, in life there are many times when resolution is not feasible.  During those times, instead of dwelling on my 'need' for resolution, I accentuate in my mind's eye what I have learned from the situation.  I am a firm believer that ultimately we will be led in the way we should go regardless of our level of resistance.  Therefore, being aware of what we learned can make a profound difference and allows us the peace of mind to let things go and get into the flow of life once again. 

A Matter of Spirit

Someone very close to me said something today that resonated throughout my entire spirit.  We were in a discussion about our passions.  His is music.  Sometimes when he speaks about it or is simply listening to it, I can almost see a glow surrounding him, lighting the path for him to follow his passions.  For him, his commitment is spiritual in nature, much deeper than an instrumentalist practicing hours a day to play in a concert or a pianist that knows all of the chord progressions perfectly and precisely.  When he plays or even thinks about his passion, his spirit listens and responds with love, understanding, patience, appreciation.  Spiritual growth takes place rather than an increase in musicality or precision although the growth results in both.  As he spoke simple words about how things were going at school or the new trombone that would be delivered, it was clear that his passion for music ran deep throughout his being.  It was clear that he was touched by something greater than what we can see or touch.  It was clear that this talent, this deep love and understanding of himself and his passion was a gift from a higher power which would lead him to not just play and learn but to play and learn from within, deep within where the spirit of his passions lie.

In that deep place inside each of us is where true passion blooms and the only place that it can grow and blossom into what it will become, what we will become.  As I take a look into my own spirit to see what lies there, I can only hope that that glow I see in him will embrace me and lead me down my own path to a passionate existence.   

Beauty

After a long week of my daughter having the flu, I decided that she deserved a few minutes of outside time. The weather was beautiful and I was in the mood for some fresh air....

The ducks swam in all directions avoiding the still floating thin layer of ice on the water.  They soared above our heads flying with grace and purpose.  Some landed, some seemed to disappear into the sky.  Some forcefully and proudly walked toward bystanders demanding food.  One little girl made a squealing noise and ran for her mother.  Mother patting her on the back of her head and mindlessly throwing out more bread not really seeming to notice how distraught the young girl was.  A couple walked slowly from a green Ford holding left overs in a wrapper headed for the mass of ducks in front of us.  He was limping.  She held his arm tight.  They smiled as they passed. My daughter was in awe of the beauty of it all. The duck sounds, the water ripples, the child hugging her mother's leg, the sun, wind, the boy in the swing being pushed by his father. The wind was chilly but we stood for a long while, her wrapped in my arms gazing out seeing some familiar sites, some new.  The couple walked back to the green Ford, the father and son were sitting on the top of the picnic table and the little girl and mother had disappeared.  We made our way back to the car.  The lady in the green Ford asked me how old my daughter was and I told her that she was 10 months today. How time flies, she told me.  She told me she had wanted a little girl but couldn't have children.  Before I could stumble over my words trying the find the right thing to say, she looked at me very seriously and said, "but I have the best husband in the world." 

What beauty we saw today. 

A stranger

Yet again, I was delightfully surprised when an older woman in front of me smiled ear to ear and sparked conversation about how beautiful my daughter was.  I'm always happy to hear that!  While we were chit-chatting, a lady approached us telling us that a new check out lane was open.  Rather than take her two items and go (she was in front of me, after all), she told me to go ahead. 

Small acts of kindness make the world a better place.  My week has been difficult and that one moment brightened my day just a little bit and reminded me that an angel may be the stranger next to you. 

Ramblings on Morality

I have been thinking some time on the question of morality.  Christians teach it, governments dictate it, parents model it but who is the ultimate authority on what "it" is.  Is it remaining chaste? Is it being kind? Is it turning the other cheek?  Is it helping your neighbor? Is it morality as defined by a dictionary?  Perhaps it is the Latin meaning which is according to one online dictionary to be a manner, character or proper behavior.  Further research into the matter led me to a more familiar definition of conduct and ethics.  So, if according to me, you are not conducting yourself in a proper manner should I consider you to be immoral?  Or, if I am not acting in line with your ethics and ideas, then am I immoral?  And, if you and I don't agree on who is moral, then what?  Perhaps both of us are without morality!

A person close to me recently reminded me that 'it is all created'.  I have found this to be incredibly true of most things.  The more we try to conceptualize things, the further we stray from the truth. So, I offer we are both moral, you and I because we each believe it to be so. 

Neighbor Helping Neighbor

I was recently involved in an accident where a rather large deer attempted to take over my driver seat.  Fortunately for me, I had chosen a small car and he was unable to take over steering.  As I screeched to a stop following his rude attempt, I realized that I might be injured and alone.  I scooped my daughter out of the back seat and began to flag the car down that was behind me.  To my surprise, she stopped to give aid.    She called 911 and even led me to notice things such as glass being on clothes and the fact that the officer might want to see my insurance card.  I also noticed that several other people stopped to give me aid, one a nurse who I can not remember the name on his name tag but I am thankful for.  From the first responder, to officer, to ambulance driver to doctor at the hospital I was very aware that neighbors had come to my aid.

While this experience gave me new hope, I tell this story for a reason.  On a daily basis I see neighbors (that's you and me) turning a blind eye to someone's need.  Maybe you know someone that won't have Christmas this year because he/she lost a job.  Maybe your neighbor is getting the electricity cut off because he/she is not getting the tips from waiting tables that once were in abundance.  Maybe a man standing on a street corner with a sign is telling the truth when he holds the homeless sign up.  Maybe a car got hit by a deer and you have the opportunity to lend a hand.

I encourage you, implore you to take action.  I believe that many of our societal ailments could be eliminated by those who simply lend a helping hand.  I encourage you to be that neighbor who offers a helping hand as neighbors did for me.  It can make all the difference!